You’ve Tried Talking—Now What? How EMDR Helps When Words Aren’t Enough
If you’ve been poking around the internet trying to figure out how to feel better, you might’ve stumbled across something called EMDR and thought… “Wait, what? Why is this therapist making me move my eyes back and forth like I’m watching a tennis match?”
Fair question.
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, which, yeah, sounds super clinical and mysterious. But stick with me. EMDR is one of the most interesting (and honestly, effective) tools we have for helping people work through tough stuff—especially the kind of stuff that still lives in your body long after it’s over.
Let’s talk about what it actually is, how it works, and whether it might be helpful for you.
OK, but what even is EMDR?
EMDR is a type of therapy that helps people heal from trauma, anxiety, grief, or distressing experiences that seem stuck on repeat. You know the ones—those memories or feelings that pop up uninvited and hijack your mood, your sleep, or your relationships.
The idea behind EMDR is that your brain actually wants to heal. But sometimes, when something overwhelming or painful happens, the brain hits pause and doesn’t fully process what went down. It’s like the memory gets frozen in time, along with all the emotions and body sensations that came with it.
EMDR helps you unfreeze that stuff—so the memory can go back to just being a memory, not a current threat.
Wait, how does moving my eyes help with that?!
I get it. It sounds strange at first.
During EMDR, your therapist will guide you to think about a specific memory while also doing something called bilateral stimulation—this just means stimulating both sides of your brain, usually through eye movements, tapping, or sounds.
What’s happening here is kind of like hitting the "reprocess" button on a memory that didn’t get filed away properly. Instead of staying stuck in your nervous system like it’s happening right now, EMDR helps you shift that memory into the “past” section of your brain.
People often say things like:
“It still happened, but it doesn’t feel so intense anymore.”
“I can remember it, but I don’t feel frozen or panicked about it like I used to.”
That’s the sciencey magic of EMDR.
So, do I just relive my worst memories the whole time?
Nope. EMDR is not about re-traumatizing you. You don’t have to describe every detail of your experiences out loud if you don’t want to. The process is very contained and your therapist will teach you grounding techniques first—so you can stay anchored, even while doing deep emotional work.
It’s structured, but not rigid. You’ll move through phases like:
Building trust and safety
Identifying a memory or belief that feels “charged”
Reprocessing it through bilateral stimulation
Replacing old beliefs (“I’m not safe”) with more accurate ones (“I am safe now”)
You’ll always have support, and we move at your pace.
Who is EMDR for?
EMDR can be a great option for people who:
Feel like they’ve “talked about it all” in therapy but still feel stuck
Are dealing with trauma (big-T or little-t)
Have anxiety, phobias, or panic that seems tied to past experiences
Struggle with low self-worth or persistent negative thoughts
Keep reacting to things in ways that don’t quite make sense logically
You don’t need a textbook trauma story to benefit. If something is lingering in your body or brain and making your life harder—it’s valid. And EMDR might help.
Is this going to be intense?
Sometimes, yes. But not in an unsafe way.
EMDR is about bringing up old stuff in a safe, titrated way so your brain can finally process it and move forward. You’ll probably feel some of this old stuff, but the goal is never to overwhelm you. It’s to help you heal—at your pace, with support.
Some sessions might feel heavier. Some might feel surprisingly light. People often walk away from EMDR feeling lighter, clearer, and more connected to themselves.
Final Thoughts: Could EMDR Be the Thing That Helps?
EMDR isn’t a magic fix. But it is a powerful, research-backed approach that helps people feel better in a real and lasting way. If you’ve ever thought:
“Why can’t I just move on from this?”
“Why do I still feel this way, even though it’s over?”
“I know I’m safe now, but my body doesn’t believe it…”
...EMDR might be the next step.
If you’re curious, please reach out so we can chat more and help you figure out if this is the right fit for your healing.
